Vital Lollipops
by Hate Me-I Dare You
Summary: A trip to the Eiffel Tower turns into something... well... something that may cause the almighty France to need a change of underwear. Who knew 'vital regions' would make such good candy moldings?


**Me: Well... I remembered a while back me and my friend Trishy discussed what the 'vital regions' of each country was. **

**And by 'vital regions', I mean the place that where the sun don't shine.**

**She said England's 'vital region' was London Bridge though! I don't know about you, but I'd rather it be the 'Big' Ben. I'm pretty sure all you perverts are with me!**

**Besides, I heard in history class that England's people used to potty (I don't want to use any bathroom words~!) in a bucket before indoor plumbing and dumped their waste under the London Bridge. Who wants to believe poor Iggy had poor hygiene 'down there'? **

**Anyways, we both agreed France's 'vital region' was the Eiffel Tower, since it's all tall and pointy... * shot * and people have to ride an elevator just to get to the top... * shot... again ***

**So... ya... My inner pervert was just BEGGING me to write this! Especially since I found out they made CANDIES shaped like the Eiffel Tower!**

**Summary: **A trip to the Eiffel Tower turns into something... well... something that may cause the almighty France to need a change of underwear. Who knew vital regions would make such good candy moldings? Canada sure didn't!

* * *

**Vital Lollipops**

"Oh _Mathieu_~! I'm so happy you could make it _mon petit_!" France smiled happily at his ex-colony.

"You too _papa_! I couldn't pass down an offer to go sightseeing with you!" Canada said in a cheerful tone.

"I knew you couldn't _cher_! Now let me escort you around Paris, the city of love~!" France said in a totally not girly way. "Where to first _Mathieu_?"

"Well, I have never been to the Eiffel Tower. What about there?" Canada said, completely unaware of the growing smirk on France's face.

"My my _cher_, I'm so happy you didn't inherit that English bastard's prudishness!" France laughed.

"What do you mean _papa_?" Canada asked confused.

"Oh nothing, my dear~! Come, it is just around the corner!" France said as he led the way.

**2 Hours Later**

"That was amazing eh! I didn't know it was so BIG! The pictures make it look so much smaller!" Canada said, not realizing how suggestive he really sounded.

"Uh... Y-yes _cher_... Oh, look! There is a gift shop over there. Why don't you go buy a souvenir?" France said in a rather nervous voice.

"Great idea _papa_! I'll be right back!" Canada said as he ran to 'GIFT SHOP'.

**(Annoying Author's Note: Ya, I was being uncreative and and named the gift shop 'GIFT SHOP'. Because that's the way I roll. Though I'm pretty sure most of you don't care about that, I just wanted to add this. Because that's the way I roll. (****Déjà****vu****?))**

"_Sacre__bleu_! Is my _Mathieu_ doing this on purpose? Thank goodness my beautiful robe is large enough to hide 'it'." France sighed.

Just when France thought all of Canada's 'teasing' was done, he comes back from the gift shop with something rather... no... that IS suggestive!

A long, juicy Eiffel Tower lollipop... On a stick...

This made France gulp and sweat just a bit.

"Look _papa_! Doesn't it look delicious?" Canada said as he gave the cursed lollipop a long lick, from bottom to top.

"M-my... It does look rather... realistic..." France said sweating heavily now.

"I know! It's great! It tastes heavenly too!" Canada said as he kept licking his lollipop.

France noticed how Canada would slowly trail his tongue from the bottom to the top, and the way he didn't bite anything off, just licked it away. He could almost _swear_ he saw _Mathieu _bobbing his head!

"Come one _papa_! Let's go to the Notre Dame next!" Canada said with a much... well... 'rounder' version of the Eiffel Tower now.

"O-of course _Mathieu_... Anything you say _cher_..." France said speechlessly at how fast Canada had licked away his 'vital region'.

"But could we stop by my home for a moment? I need to pick something up..." France asked.

He was going to need a change of underwear.

* * *

**Me: I hate it... But review! Flames will keep me warm this Winter!**

**Oh, and if you wanna see how Canada's Eiffel Tower lollipop looked like, here's a link.**

**http:/ .com/ il_fullxfull.52235067. Jpg**

**Just remove the spaces. **

**And just so you know, since I'm gonna get flames anyway, I got a lollipop just like that. It was rather tasty. * hides behind shield ready to be shot... multiple times * **


End file.
